Why do bad things happen?

I was taking a class that would be fun, but I am not a fan of my instructor and her style. I was spending hours every day on her course and having to ignore my other classes. While I think microbiology is important and interesting, I was spending far more time than this class should require. My stress level was higher than I could even imagine possible. The Lord helped me through it in so many different ways, where to begin:

One morning I woke up and my face had completely broken out! I looked like a teeager going through puberty. The Lord knows that messing with my face is the way to reach me! Last time I was having tummy issues, I completely suffered through for almost 2 years until a rash broke out all around my mouth and chin...I finally decided I’d better seek the help of a Dr and naturopath. Then came allergy tests and blood tests...apparently my body doesn’t like soy and sesame seeds. Anyway, so yes the Lord means business when he messes with my face! I instantly thought ok, something has got to change. I asked the Lord for help, help to know how to destress and manage this class. Through the day he gave me moments of clarity and I was able to come up with this plan: → Be done with school by 5 each day to have time to make dinner so we could eat a healthy meal as a family. →  Get the girls to bed at 9 and do more homework, but cut myself off at midnight, not a minute later! My body needed sleep! → I was going to quit the negative talk. No more saying ‘this is too hard”, “my teacher is the devil”, “this class is stupid”...it wasn’t helping and I needed to just push through! → Meditation! This summer I was introduced to meditation by my dr, but had really only tried it here and there. Let’s just say, I started a 20 day guided meditation in July...I think I was on day 7. But little things I had learned from those 7 days was all I needed to create the perfect nightly meditation! Most nights when I went to bed I would lay there for a good 2-3, sometimes 4 hours, just wide awake stressed about school and trying to talk myself into just quitting. Well the Lord helped me pull a few vital parts from what I had learned to create the perfect combo of how to calm my body, how to turn off my thoughts, and how to stop the self sabotage! →  Next I would exercise, which meant getting up early before I had to start the girls on their school work (this was going to be HARD! REALLY HARD!). 

Ok so lets stay on that REALLY HARD thing. Going to bed at midnight was not normal for me and really struggled to find the motivation to get out of bed in the morning. With the girls’ schooling not starting until 9:30, it was super easy to just lay in bed and do mind numbing activities like look at my phone and wallow in my sadness! Well, then the Lord sent Anna! My dear friend from my last job...she had finally found a job after being laid off in March due the daycare being shut down (thanks COVID-19!) and needed a ride! Her first day was Oct. 26th and she would need me to come pick her up at 7:40 each morning, M-F! So there it was, the motivation to get out of bed before 9! I bravely set my alarm for 6:55, with plans to go for a walk, be home by 7:35 to get Anna to work, be home by 8 and I would shower and ACTUALLY GET READY FOR THE DAY! WOW, what a HUGE difference this morning routine made...like almost life changing! Well actually it was life changing. ♥️ 

The mornings were getting really cold and starting to get dark! It was getting really easy to turn off my alarm and just get up at 7:35 to snag Anna. So the Lord prompted me to tell Jenn Nackos that I was walking in the morning and if she ever wanted to join me I walked past her house about 7:05. I ignored the prompting because I didn’t want her to feel obligated, or at least that is what i told myself. I had it again and then the 3rd time I finally listened and she was excited to join me. Soon the mornings got dark and it became even harder to be motivated but with my new accountability partner, I DID IT!  

The Lord’s other move: I was at a YW meeting and Kaylee messaged me. Well they are only allowed to message from their mission on Mondays unless it is an emergency, so I immediately looked at it. She said, “Mom I need to talk! Are you available?” I told her I was in the middle of a meeting and asked if she could wait 35 mins and she said yes. As soon as we ended the meeting I called her. We talked for a few mins about some very overwhelming feelings she was having. We talked for about 10 mins and then she said she felt ok and had better get ready for bed. I felt impressed to mention it as I went back to the Relief Society room. My thought was Annette Larsen would have some answers, I knew she had struggled with depression and anxiety, but to my surprise, Kallie was actually the one I was supposed to share it with. She too had gone through some serious struggles just a few months ago...she had met with a naturopath and found some supplements that really helped her. I wrote it all down: C to flush out stress, Magnesium to balance out your cortisol level (which is what helps you manage your stress hormones), GABA to help your brain stay in balance (fun fact: GABA is what carries an inhibitor message to the brain. It tells the brain to stop firing and thus creates a calming effect), and D to help boost your mood! So I quickly ordered all these things and had them sent to Kaylee and then thought...yeah wait, I NEED THESE THINGS TOO!! I got back online and ordered them all for myself too. My nutrition hadn’t been the best through all this and figured I could us a little help in the nutrition department, eating was the last thing on my mind...I lost 15 pounds

And last but not least, the Lord sent me Breauna Hair! She was taking the same classes and on a regular basis had to give me little pep talks! We studied for all our tests together, we started doing all the homework together to lighten the load, we walked together, we cried together, we commiserate together…

In the end...I PASSED the class, my face cleared up (it took a couple weeks), my faith increased, I learned how to stay on top of things, a lot about myself, why we just trust in the Lord and that I can do HARD THINGS! 

♥️ Kelli